Steve Muthusi

17/May/2021

Outside their homestead, three girls Aurelia, Alisa and Amber sang their favourite skipping rope rhyme, “babligan babligan number 28 I went for a walk but know I stop underbreak,” their best shot at the song “Public van, public van number 28. I went for a ride but now I stepped on the break.” The children of Amulaza village executed songs to the nearest mother tongue, or whatever they heard in their heads, and they were okay with that, since most adults too, knew no better. Alisa was the one jumping, but her singing was swallowed by the sound of the engines of an aircraft defying gravity above, so she ‘stopped underbreak’ and they all stared up and waved, and inside her, a dream was born, to one day fly to a distant, faraway place and experience the bliss that exists on the other side. And that day came, and with it a CHALLENGE to ADAPT to a new culture, different way of doing things, the fast paced 21^st century, work-related stress, and once in a while feelings of isolation and discrimination, thousands of miles away from Amulaza, and the very people dear to her, that her heart aches to hug, hold and feel… (…to be continued)

The ability to discover and live up to your full potential, cope with stressful life events, work productively even under pressure, and positively contribute to the community is a hard wired aspiration in every soul. However, once in a while, life throws us curveballs that destabilise our thinking and emotion regulation abilities in ways that may lead to maladaptive mannerisms, and our century seems to be full of such curveballs. Unchecked emotional states may rob us the ability to enjoy a good sunny day, rob us the fun found in little things like we did as little children (I personally hunted grasshoppers), deny us the capacity to connect deeply and genuinely with others, and the results may manifest as poor workplace performance, vulnerable to a myrad of mental health challenges such as work-related stress, burnout and/or depression. There is therefore the need for conversations and deliberate action plans towards mental health, for indeed, there is no health without mental health.

Here is a good place to begin taking care of your headspace

Find a rhythm that fits for you, cultivating a good work-life balance: Leave work at work, leave home at home, but carry your authentic self with you everywhere you go!

Eat well, sleep well: It is the accumulated effects of bad eating habits and poor sleeping patterns that should worry you. So don’t let them accumulate. Eat healthy and get enough sleep TODAY!

MOVE: There exists an inherent interconnection between the movement and mind health. Bodily exercise goes beyond great looks, to keeping you in great mental shape, acting as a mood and esteem booster, reducing stress and anxiety, and improving cognitive functioning. According to Dr. Cobb (2018), bodily movements activate and replenish GABA, a neurotransmitter that plays a crucial role in the body’s response to stress.

Find a passion and pursue it: Learn, improve, and find time within your other schedules to do something you truly love, and in a way that you contribute some good to the world.

Find and belong to a community of genuine like-minded people, who accept each other with utmost positive regard. People who wear no masks (not the Covid-19 ones), and tell the truth salted with a generous pinch of grace and love

Say NO: ‘No’ is a complete sentence. When you feel that lines are being crossed, even by yourself, say NO. And stick with it, and while at it, ensure that you are ASSERTIVE BUT NOT AGGRESSIVE. If you are in a position to, delegate some of your work. You are not atlas, neither should you imagine you carry the whole world on your shoulders. Plan your time, say no to events that get in the way of priority events.

Know-L-EDGE: The man or woman who seems to handle themselves calmly, even in the storm KNOW something that rest don’t. We live in the knowledge economy, where no one is buying ignorance anymore! Listen to a podcast, look at your shoe rack, and notice that if you have more books than shoes, your shoes will not take you anywhere! READ READ READ, knowing gives you an edge, – KNOWLEDGE!

Live consciously: Mindfulness, the ability to be fully present, aware of where you are, how you are feeling, and what you are doing, and not overly reactive or overwhelmed by what’s going on around us, is a critical skill.

Celebrate yourself: Dear Alisa, you have come so far. Your dreams in Amulaza are now a reality. Your reality now is a dream to so many other Amulaza girls. Yes, they don’t know the challenges you face, but you are somewhere. CELEBRATE THAT. Don’t be caught up in the guilty of the past and worry of the future matrix, missing the magical present!

Seek help: We all at some point need a shoulder to lean on. Don’t let the stigma around mental health stop you from seeking help. Don’t forget prevention is always better than cure. You can seek psychological support even before you start showing signs of mental health problems.

Steve Muthusi

03/Apr/2021

Don’t let scary psychological drama in the theatre of your mind threaten the beautiful realities at the centre of your life!

Thoughts are things. And whereas they cannot be weighed in ounces, the very things they produce can be weighty. By their thinking one may become limited, through the same, another may break through their limitations.

By DEFAULT, men and women alike process tens of thousands of thoughts in a day, 80% of which are only repetitive thoughts; the very ones they had the previous day, and even worse, 70% those thoughts are by default negative. This default unconscious thinking is futile in that it is POINTLESS, INEFFECTUAL, WORTHLESS, AND INCAPABLE OF PRODUCING ANY USEFUL RESULT …it is FRUITLESS!

Hit SHiFT;

One of the greatest discoveries of this generation, as the great Psychologist, William James noted, is that A HUMAN BEING CAN ALTER THEIR LIFE BY ALTERING THEIR THINKING. This points to the possibility of deliberately choosing positive thoughts over negative thoughts (since the mind is incapable of actively holding two opposing thoughts at the same time), to deliberately process the activities of our minds in a manner that empowers us rather than drains us of vital energies to pursue our ideas. More importantly, the very crucial ABILITY TO IMAGINE (to create experiences, to synthesize experiences in our minds in the absence of the physical presence or previous memories of what such experiences represent) is an important skill to cultivate.

THEREFORE,

Whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things…

Steve Muthusi

01/Apr/2021

The waves of feminism have shed light to anyone who doubts, that women are equal to the task of taking charge of their own destinies, that of organizations, companies, industries and even countries. And, when such opportunities are not given to them, these powerhouses have also demonstrated beyond any doubt that they can put up a good fight, and emerge with the victory. Indeed Whitaker was right;

“The true wealth of a community is measured by how carefully it listens to its women and how sincerely it values their wisdom. Empowering women empowers us all”

There is enough evidence for all the doubting Thomas-es that an increase of women in leadership is helping businesses and countries to thrive in unprecedented ways. For example, in a recent study on the current Covid-19 crisis, it was shown that Female-led countries handled corona virus better. According to Supriya Garikipati, a Liverpool university developmental economist involved in the study, women leaders reacted more quickly and decisively in the face of potential fatalities. That, ‘being female-led has provided countries with an advantage in the current crisis’ Such claims are not new. According to a CNBC survey, Women-led companies have more engaged and inspired employees. As if that is not already a mouthful of a claim, a research focusing on top grossing movies between 2014 and 2017, found that global box-office movies with women protagonists out-earned movies starring male protagonists across all budget levels. Come to think of it; could that be why they say ‘behind every successful man is a woman? Because now it seems,

Whereas sayings such ‘If you educate a man, you educate an individual, but if you educate a woman, you educate a nation’ soon turn into clichés and statements made for political correctness, they hold fundamental truths that that relate to the success of a people, families and nations. There is something in such maxims that women and ‘we men’ could borrow a leaf from. So, why are women-led companies better for employees, making more money, and thriving more compared to others? Well, what if such differences could just be traced the some differences between men and women?

There are no enough forests with enough trees to produce enough paper upon which to write everything we currently know about women, leave alone their comparison to men, so I think this is a good place to get emotional. Researchers in affective neuroscience seem to agree that women are different from men their emotional expressiveness.

Emotional expression refers to how one bares, resolves and/ or conveys emotional states through both verbal and nonverbal behaviour. In this regard, the most recent buzz-word in the corporate world as far as emotions are concerned has been Emotional Intelligence (EQ), which is the ability to identify, assess, and control one’s own emotions, the emotions of others, and those of groups.And what has this to do with what? Research has shown that, all other factors held constant, EQ scores are consistently tipped in favour of women.

Emotions are the primary drivers’ of behaviour, and knowing how to work with our motions and those of others is a key skill. Instead of trying to aggressively fight their way up by outdoing everyone, people of high EQ (remember women seem to score higher) become the leaders who work with and help people in whatever capacity they are in, understanding that supporting other people is the only way to win their trust and respect, while at the same time making sure that winning respect is not the goal. Where individuals of low EQ work with their hands and heads, individuals with of high EQ work with their hearts and soul. They are polite, kind, cool, calm, and collected even under pressure, and have learned the importance of investing in social currency.

We all can master such skills for one reason, they matter both at a personal level and at a professional level, whether you are employed, self-employed or an employee, EQ is a foundation for many other critical life skills.

Note: Our team at PDC is always ready to equip you, and/or the people around you (including children and adolescents) with the requisite skill set for enhancing emotional intelligence. Click here for details

Nursing your HEADSPACE!

FUTILE THOUGHTS: silencing the psychological drama

Don’t let scary psychological drama in the theatre of your mind threaten the beautiful realities at the centre of your life!

Thoughts are things. And whereas they cannot be weighed in ounces, the very things they produce can be weighty. By their thinking one may become limited, through the same, another may break through their limitations.

Who Runs the World? GIRLS? A Case for Emotional Intelligence